...and we missed you at the ward party

well, matt's missing a lot this holiday season. chuck e. cheese's, ward parties (where eli fell into the front of the chair in these pictures giving himself a bloody nose and a cut lip. that always makes for christmas fun at any ward party), amazing jakes on friday, annual open house at the duncan's on sunday, his birthday next week... the list goes on. and while i think that he's missing out on a lot, it seems like we are missing out on a lot too. not getting to be there to hug him after his first day at a new job, not getting to share mealtimes together, not getting a good night sleep because eli loves to get a visit from dad at 2am or so. missing his cute face walk in the door after a long day and know that he'll take all four kids for the rest of the evening.

it's all the harder as it seems the holidays are make-believe this year. we didn't put up lights, a tree, or decorations (except for stockings) and it's heartbreaking to see every one's homes so beautiful and festive and ours with a for sale sign on the front lawn. we'll make it to matt's parents in time to decorate their tree but it doesn't feel the same to not have "our tree" and "our homemade decorations" that we've had forever, it seems. this christmas will be the christmas that we were floaters. the christmas of spending all our time cleaning instead of making fun christmas messes, cookie decorating, gingerbread houses, giant spice drop balls, red and green paper chains, pine needles all over the living room, wrapping paper and ribbon scattered throughout, christmas books out and always open. yes, we're missing out on a lot this year. but years like these will make the next all the more sweet. we can't wait to get to where ever it is we're going. excited for this transition, just tired of it already :)